my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
