We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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