don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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