so explain again why im purple
no
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
