Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
