I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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