Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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