Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize