please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
