was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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