lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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