I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
