it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
