Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
