this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
did you just send me my own nude
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
