Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
