can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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