Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
