Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You took a bar mat shot.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
