I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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