i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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