i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
