KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
