apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
