In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
