Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
