I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
