i just google imaged poop.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
