Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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