I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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