I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
