I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
