just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
