Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You can't motorboat a personality
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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