You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
