Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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