How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
