Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Its about making memories worth repressing
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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