Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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