watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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