My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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