so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
