after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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