I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
