I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
