You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
