is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
