have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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