You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
