It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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