we have pet lesbian snakes
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Be still, my beating vagina.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
