would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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