Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
