he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
