i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
