Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize