I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize