Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I faked an abortion last night.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
