I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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