dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
